Time For Something New
I woke up this morning, and having my neck feel much better, decided to go out and peruse the web to see what was going on.
What I found dissapointed me.
Endless blogs that all looked like mine. That's not good for me.
So, I, in my great thinking, decided to build my own template. After all, there's only one of me. Shouldn't there be only one blog that looks like mine?
So I made my own. Took me all afternoon, but now it's up. Whaddaya all think?
Cool or what?
The Wrong Side Of The Bed
At 8:00am I was awoken out of a wonderful dream (I had just won my own personal island and a billion dollars) by my abhorrent alarm clock - I've got a theory about alarm clocks. They control the time in our bedrooms, and knowing that we are having a wonderful dream, use their power of time manipulation to accelerate time to when we're supposed to wake up.
I know it's true.
Anyway, my alarm clock rang, and I reached over to turn it off, while slowly waking up. Knowing that the alarm clock was the sound that heralded the coming of breakfast, Cloey and George started yelling how hungry they were as they dashed into the kitchen.
So, I sat up.
I should have rolled over.
A pain like an axe a the base of my skull went through my neck.
Oh boy....that's not promising. I thought as I laid there. So I tried to get up again, and the pain returned.
I went to work anyway, although it did take me longer than I thought it would to get ready. Needless to say, the neck's not feeling too well, and I got to come home early. I'm going to go take some "ibloafin" and lay down for awhile. Maybe later I'll feel better.
My Computer Is A Girl
Some of the work that I do everyday is a little monotonous. Don't get me wrong - I love what I do, but work is work, and sometimes it's not exactly thrilling. Anyway, while working on some of the more...boring things today, I started thinking.
That's when a few things hit me.
1.) It's too early in the morning to think
2.) (Looking in my drawer) "Oooh! I have 6 different colored sharpie markers!"
3.) My computer is a girl.
Lately we've had several computer problems that aren't systemic from any known source, and that pop up randomly. My sister's computer randomly re-boots. My other co-worker's computer sometimes just randomly "decides" that it doesn't want to use any of it's hard drives. And, last but not least, my own computer decides at odd times of the day that it randomly wants to just stop working.
That's right. Computers are women. They work fine, they look pretty, and then for some odd reason that you can't understand, suddenly they're mad at you, and won't even tell you why. So, you try to make peace with them. And they won't tell you what's wrong so that you know what to fix - Noooo! You should already know through osmosis what's wrong with it.
That's right. Computers are like women. That's my story, and I'm sticking with it.
Spreading The Love
I have a cat who gets an "A" for effort. Unfortunately I've learned the hard way that from now on I'm going to have to duct tape all canisters closed that look remotely interesting.
Cloey is an inquisitive cat. As such, she decided that she needed to find out exactly what was in the rather large 10 lb container on top of my refrigerator. Somehow, without me hearing it, she knocked it onto the floor, and then managed to get the top off.
After getting the top off, she found that the "canister of mystery" that MUST be for her, had dry hot chocolate mix in it - at which point she decided that the cocoa was so great that it needed to be spread from one end of the kitchen to the other, and that it needed to also be all over her. I discovered the mess with my feet as I blindly navigated through my dark kitchen making my way to the refridgerator.
Feeling the odd piles of graininess on my feet, at first I thought that I had had short term amnesia, and I was actually on vacation at night on a tropical island and I was standing on a beach at midnight.
My landlord's television blaring the goodness of Preperation H snapped me out of my stupor.
So, I turned the lights on. Big mistake.
The entire floor was covered. It looked like Desert Storm had taken a shortcut through my kitchen. Cloey had so much of the dry mix in her, she was solid brown, and I was taking calls from Hershey's for a product sponsorship.
I carried her into the bathroom, and gave her a bath. You would be surprised as to how much chocolate one cat can hold - my shower stall turned into a 20 gallon chocolate milk tank.
Now she's under the couch in my living room making unhappy noises. (I had to soap her down.)
I've got to go. I've got a 10lb bag of flour that needs some duct taping.
Urban Survival Skills
Where I live in Utica is a place called Cornhill. Cornhill used to belong to a farmer who grew....right, Corn. Anyway, in 1910 Utica started to expand and so the city bought the land from the farmer and the upper class families built townhouses on this hill.
After around 1960, though, the area began to go down hill. Crime moved in, and the upper class tax base moved out. Not a good situation.
So, living here in Cornhill has been an interesting experience. There are always women "out for a walk" - except they hang out on street corners. Asking your neighbor for a white substance completely unrelated to flour is a common occurance. And going out for a run sometimes means that you get a better workout than you intended - dodging bullets.
Don't get me wrong - Cornhill is getting better, but it's still not the lap of luxury. Anyway, I've learned several important points about cornhill that I hope you can all take to heart if you ever live in an area like I do.
5.) Never run down the road wearing a blue leisure suit. You will be shot out of a need to put you out of your misery.
4.) Being 6' tall DOES help in a fight, but being 3' tall enables you to hide in more bushes.
3.) Fireworks can be lit to celebrate any event - like the fact that it's Tuesday.
2.) You can put rims on anything. This includes School Busses, Ford Pintos, and Ugos.
1.) Putting a rain gutter on the back of your 86 Plymouth Shadow instantly makes it a sports car.
I hope you all take these points to heart. Now I've got to go.
Sanford & Son is on.
My Cat Is A Dog
A year and a half ago, I adopted my kitten, Cloey. And now, more than ever I'm convinced that she's really a dog.
Today I came home from work to find her sitting on my fishtank with her paw sloshing around in the tank while she attempted to go fishing.
Needless to say, I wasn't exactly thrilled. Cloey is the only cat I've ever seen who not only isn't afraid of water, she loves it. Given the opportunity, she will actually
climb into the fishtank in order to go fishing.
She also loves frenchfries, yogurt, chocolate milk, cheeseburgers, tacos, and ramen noodles.
She comes when you call her by name. Tell me one person you know of who doesn't call their cat by yelling "Here Kitty Kitty Kitty". She loves watching tv, she knows how to open the refridgerator, she opens cupboards and drawers, and has now even figured out how to open the top of the clothes hamper so that she can climb in and take a nap.
I'm telling you - she's not a cat, she's a DOG.
Caving Into The Inevitable
I have finally caved in. I have surrendered to the inevitable, and I have, once again, let Mother Nature win.
I shut the window in my bedroom. This year, the window was opened from March 29th until today, October 6th.
The time has come to surrender to Mother Nature and finally shut the window. Each morning has been tough to get out of bed due to the ambient temperature in my bedroom. This morning it was cold enough that the fish in my fishtank were filming the iceberg scene from "Titanic" in the back of the tank. Although I did tear up (The guppy made the angel fish promise to 'never let go'), I still decided that it was a wee bit too chilly in there.
The good news? I can leave fudgesicles out on the counter and they won't melt.
Wait..that's not a fudgesicle...
Crud. My Ho-Ho's are all frozen. Jack Frost will pay for his crimes.
Make no mistake about it, he will pay.
Taken Out To The Woodshed
The Vice Presidential debate was just completed. And, I think as most people will agree, Vice President Cheney took John Edwards out to the woodshed to explain a few things to him. On two known instances, Cheney's obvious command of the information showed Edwards up.
On every argument, VP Cheney not only fought back, but left Edwards holding the bill. Vice President Cheney also brought up John Edwards' service record in the senate, and John Kerry's voting record saying, "Neither one is very distinguished".
Indeed this debate has brough back into the limelight the service record of John Kerry and John Edwards, which isn't in the least anything to be proud of at all. Now that this was brought back into the limelight, I'm interested in seeing the tactics that their campaign will use to once again try and tarp it over.
I raise my Pepsi to you, Mr. Vice President. You the man!
Beachfront Property For Sale
As I strolled into my office this morning at a liesurly pace, my head was filled with thoughts of dvd-dom. I fired up the monstrosity of my computer, and began to turn on the rest of my equipment.
Thats when I noticed something.
I couldn't turn on my tv.
My new tv wouldn't turn on.
I pulled it out to the front when I heard an odd sloshing sound. I looked down at my desk and realized that there was a puddle of water streaming onto my desk out of my tv. That's when it hit me.
"This isn't going to end well." After three seconds of troubleshooting, I found the culpirt. The air conditioner over my desk had leaked overnight, and dumped water into my tv. For those of you who don't know, that's not a good thing. There is a reason why there's no such thing as a combo TV/Fishtank.
I moved the tv into the conference room, took the top off and handily set the fan in front of it. Perhaps tomorrow she will feel better.
Needless to say, I'm bringing my rainslicker into work tomorrow.
Just in case.
Winning Friends and Angering Liberals
My posts on President Bush seem to have struck a chord out here in the land of the internet, so I've decided to write a few more things out here, and just state what I believe for those of you who think I have not been clear enough. I'm going to cover a few other things too.
For those of you who tend to have temper tantrums when someone tells the truth, get over it. It's what I believe. If you've got a problem with it, too bad.
Liberals have a problem with President Bush. Their problem? He's a conservative. That's the basis for why they dislike him.
Invading Iraq was the right thing to do. We had to liberate them because the UN never would have. The UN is run by a bunch of liberal beaurocrats who would have continually handed Saddam Hussain demands faster than he could shred them up.
Saddam would have NEVER given up. He would have NEVER let the inspectors back in.
Iraq was the right thing to do.
Then you also hear the "President Bush lied to the country". Give me a break. That's not true, and you all know it. Show me the proof of it. Show it to me.
That's right, you can't. Must be tough.
Because I'm not sure if I've ticked off enough liberals yet, I'll say a few more things.
Abortion is killing babies. In our courts, If a murderer kills a pregnant woman, it's a double homicide. If she kills her own baby, it's not. Go figure. Killing in the name of "convienience" is wrong anyway you slice it.
Homosexuality is wrong. Do I hate Homosexuals? No. I know people who are like that. I don't have a problem with them. But it's still wrong. God nuked Soddom and Gomorah because of it - that's a powerful message.
Affirmative Action is racism. So let me get this straight, picking a black man over a white man because the black man is black isn't wrong, but picking a white man over a black man because he's white is? No. Both of them are wrong. People should get hired because of their merit, not their skin color.
If my Pastor comes out in support of President Bush, he will be sued for mixing politics and religion by the liberals. If another pastor endorses John Kerry, there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing like a double standard.
So, for those of you who agree with me, Thank You. For those of you that don't, get over it. You're not going to change my mind.
The Second Greatest Invention
There I was, eagerly typing away on my light up keyboard when there was this sudden odd sensation.
My kitten, Cloey, who always sleeps on my shoulder when I use my computer, barfed down the back of my shirt.
My first thoughts? "You have GOT to be kidding me."
But then it got worse. It ran into my shorts.
Then the thoughts of "Why me" and "Should I ever feed the cat again?" came up in my mind. So, I briskly climbed into the shower, and again I had another thought.
The second BEST invention ever is the hot shower. Come on, some of you out there have to agree with me. It's like therapy. I've even come up with a theory: Hot Water + Soap = New Man.
I raise my Pepsi to the man who invented the shower...uh..."Mr. Shower". Yeah. That works. May you continue to invent inventions of cleanliness.
I'm Turning Into My Father
There I was siting in my recliner, flipping through the channels, when it hit me.
I'm turning into my father.
This thought struck me as I surfed from one channel to the next manually, only punching the channel numbers of the ones that I watch.
1-5. Nope. Nothing there. (The Discovery Channel)
2-0. Oh. Nah. I've already seen this show. (The Learning Channel)
2-5. Ah...they're doing the weather in Europe again? (The Weather Channel)
5-4. Darn it! Modern Marvels is a rerun! (The History Channel)
5-9. They're STILL on commercial break? (Fox News)
Repeat the cycle.
As I cycled through these five channels, it suddenly struck me. I'm flipping through the channels in the same order that my father would. I'm watching the same things he watches. If they threw out all the channels except for these five plus Cartoon Network, and the SciFi channel, it's possbile I might never know.
Me? Like my Dad?
I need to go weep into my pillow.
The Greatest Invention Ever
That's right. I think the greatest invention ever is Peanut Butter. I mean, come on. It's cheap, tasty, and you can do tons of stuff with it.
These thoughts came to me while I stood there in my kitchen munching on a peanut butter sandwich. For as long as I can remember, I've loved Peanut Butter. It's great in a sandwich, it's good in cookies, it's over the top in a peanut-butter cup, and it's phenominal when you toss it into brownies.
I even believe that it's good enough that it shouldn't be combined with other sandwich condiments. That's right. I don't believe that peanut butter should be placed between the same two slices of bread that jelly will be crammed into later. To me, peanut butter's texture is to be savored unfettered without anything else. Don't get me wrong. I do still eat Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches - however, I keep the ingredients of these two sandwhiches completely seperate. Each sandwhich gets it's own set of warm lightly toasted pieces of bread.
And the finishing touch?
A nice cold glass of 2% milk. (Skim is water, and whole is too thick)
George Washington Carver was a genious.
Good TV
Having watched tv for as long as I can remember, there are some shows on tv that are better than others. For the last few months, I've been watching a show on the ABC network called "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition". This has got to be one of the most positivly life-impacting shows I've ever seen. They help out people who don't have the means of helping themselves, and every one of these families are deserving people who do a lot to help out their communities.
I just think it's a great tv show.
It's back on. I have to go.
Hack The Planet
So here I am on a Sunday, hanging out at the apartment, trying to find something to do. Seeing as how I was at my parent's house bored out of my mind on Friday and Saturday, I don't really want to go there today - Actually, I would go. They're having cheeseburgers - but Cloey decided to eat half a slice of Pizza, and has discovered (to her chagrin) that there really is a reason why Cat Chow doesn't come in "Pizza Flavor". Yeah - she's tossing up on the carpet. Pretty exciting.
So, here I am trying to find something to do. I woke up around noon. I let myself sleep in to catch up with the sleep I lost Friday night.
You ever try sleeping in a recliner? It's possible, but not comfortable. I equate it to sleeping in a car. You contort your body into weird positions trying to get comfortable, and in the end wake up with a neck ache, you can't walk because one of your legs is totally asleep, and your face has a seat belt imprint on it from you leaning up against it. Basically you get out of your car and walk, talk, and look like a zombie for about four minutes.
Most intriguing.
Anyway, so right now, it's almost four. SciFi channel is running some pretty decent movies today including the gamer favorite, "Hackers". Watching the movie caused me to realize one simple thing - most of the stuff in that movie would never happen. Of course, being that the movie IS from 1995, the technology featured is a bit old. (The laptops they all had looked like they belonged in the Smithsonian Institute.)
They used equipment that I've never heard of, using hacking methods that don't exist, using operating systems that haven't been invented yet on computers that weren't even concieved of then.
Yes, I know what you're thinking - "Dude. It's only a movie". I know! And, as I'm thinking about it, they probably wanted to do it this way simply to make hacking look cooler. True hacking doesn't use all the color screens, animated visuals, and futuristic technology that these kids were using. True hacking involves a guy (or girl) at a command prompt. Usually, hackers use variations of Unix or Linux to break into Windows based systems.
Well, yesterday I bought the Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. I couldn't resist. Come on! The trilogy finally re-mastered and released out on DVD in all it's THX certified glory? You know you want it.
I think I'm going to go watch one of them now.
Chewbacca is calling my name.
