Surviving My Life

I'm Bored

So, It's around 9:00pm now, and watching the dogs has lost it's international action flavor. Although in truth, it wasn't exactly exciting to begin with.

Usually Friday nights are nights that I go grab a bite to eat, check out a movie at our new cinema plex, do my weekly grocery shopping, and finally make it home to check out what's on television.

So far the night has been completely un-eventful. The only interesting things of note was the fact that I learned something rather important. Boredom is not a gradual thing.

Right now, I'm flipping through the tv listings trying to find something to watch.

"What Not To Wear" - Nope. That will never be something I willingly watch.

"Spongebob Squarepants" - Sponge what? No way.

"Andy Griffith" - Please. If I'm going to watch tv, it's going to be a show filmed in my century.

"Larry King Live" - That guy's suspenders are so deep on his ethiopian shoulders, watching him interview someone turns into a betting match for when his suspenders are going to finally gain the upper hand, and snap him in half like a twig.

"Miami Animal Police" - What?!? This is an actual show?!? I can't believe that! Jeepers. If they need a show about some odd job, I'm sure I could wrangle somebody to do a weekly hourly drama called "Omish Technology" and get Kevin Bacon to take the starring role.

Hope & Faith - You've GOT to be kidding me. Faith Ford and Kelly Ripa in their own show? I actually flipped the tv over for a few minutes, and couldn't place where I'd seen this show before. Then I went through the story points of the show and realized that the show should have been named "Golden Girls: The Early Years."

Moonstruck - A love story with Cher as the leading actress? You mean to tell me they couldn't have found anyone better than her? As I'm writing this, I've had an epiphony. They had to make Charlize Theron ugly to be in the movie "Monster". And - by some act of grand wizardry - had to make Cher pretty. What if the roles were reversed. Cher is ugly, so the movie "Monster" would have been cheaper! Trust me - Cher without all the plaster of paris on herself that she calls "makeup" is ugly enough to scare the t-bone out of a cow. Yes. I can hear you all thinking it, and thank you. I am a genious.

Jeepers. Well over one hundred channels, and nothing to watch!

I'm actually considering GOING OUTSIDE, I'm so bored.

Wait! Hang on! I have found a channel with a show that will be my entertainment savior for the evening.

Channel 58 has Ronco on selling "Hair in a Spraycan"

God Bless America.

posted by Jeremiah @ 19:53