I Endured Alexander
Last night, after repairing my friend's computer, I went to see a movie. It was my first night off from Blockbuster in two weeks, so I figured that it would be good to relax.
There's only one problem. I picked the wrong movie.
We went to go see "Alexander", and what followed was a three hour exhibition in longwinded endless drivel.
(climbs onto soap box)
This movie is one of the worst movies that I have ever seen! What was Oliver Stone smoking in his crack pipe when he directed this? What American audience wants to go see a war movie where there's more of Colin Ferrel hitting on boys than there is fighting?!?
Come on! For over three hours, the movie was filled with endless scenes of Colin and some other kid staring at each other like they wanted each other.
What kind of war film is that!?!
And to top it off, it's not an hour and a half long. It's not two hours long.
It's THREE hours long. I feel like I should be repayed! I could have worked for three hours and made money.
I could have rotated my tires, changed my oil, waxed my car, and shampooed out the interior in three hours.
Heck, in three hours my sister might even have been able to get a shopping trip in! And her shopping trips, especially for clothes, are timed with a CALENDER.
In three hours I could have built five computers.
Taken up needlework.
Baked a souflee.
Chopped down a forest and made a log cabin.
Learned the fine art of basket-weaving.
Repainted the Sisteen Chapel.
and, last but not least....
...GONE TO SEE ANOTHER MOVIE.
You know what?
I change my mind from earlier.
This movie is the single WORST pile of cinematic drivel that I have ever seen.
Period.
posted by Jeremiah @ 11:59
8 Comments:
LOL! But does Alexander actually kiss any men?
Too funny, there is nothing worse than wasting time and money at a crap film. But i'm glad you did it so I don't have to. See, you saved me.
Does Alexander kiss any men?
Yup.
He sure does.
I'll have to rent it when it's out on video then.
OK... thanks for saving us from watching the bad movie... but on to more important things...
my shopping trips are NOT timed with calendars, hardee har... thats number 1. number2: perhaps if you spent longer than 30 seconds in walmart shopping, you would find clothes that FIT you. gasp. perish the thought i know.
Sissy is just jelous of my streamlined focused shopping skills.
Shopping is a skill only when thought and TIME are put into it!!
Jer, you might want to start reading reviews before you go watch a movie. I heard all about the whole boy on boy action & thought I'd stay away, though the thought of Colin Farrel in a short skirt was slightly appealing. Oh, and I'm sure what Oliver Stone was smoking in his crack pipe was Crack, but who knows with him.
It's tough for me to read reviews when I'm working 24/7. I didn't know that stuff was in it until me and my friend were sitting in the theatre.
Oliver Stone - YOU SUCK!
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