Surviving My Life

Twenty-Four Going On Fifty

Whilst I was going on my usual Saturday duties - cleaning my apartment, vacumming the floors, and doing whatever weekly dishes have ammassed in the sink, I started to compile a list of weird things I have started to do lately that have led me to one life changing conclusion.

I'm getting old.

How do I know this? Easy.

1.) I can't sleep past 10am anymore. Yeah. It just doesn't work. I can't do it, and I've tried, believe me.

2.) I get up twice in the night to visit the bathroom. I don't understand it. Apparently my bladder has shrunken to the size of a Dixie cup.

3.) I get backaches. What's that? I used to be able to pick up a truck without any type of pain. Now if I look sideways at the wrong moment, my neck crinks and I wind up walking around like the drunk version of Lurch.

4.) I've had heartburn. Now, don't go quoting me on this just yet. My father has heartburn, and I think that I've got something like it, but I'm not willing to admit defeat yet.

5.) I increased my screen resolution because the text was too small. Me! The guy who has always had the reslolution on the maximum. Now, at the max, I feel like I need a pair of binoculars to read anything. And no - I don't need glasses!

Those five things are making me believe that I'm getting old.

But you know what? I REFUSE to believe that I'm getting old! That's right. I've changed my mind. I'm not old, and I won't be old for a long time.

Now I have to go.

My dixie cup is full.

posted by Jeremiah @ 14:07