Surviving My Life

Dressing For Boredom

It came to me while I sat at my assigned table at the reception, watching my fellow reception attendees cut up the floor while the DJ played various tunes designed to make even a 90 year old woman dance like a slinky in an earthquake.

I hate weddings.

Now don't get me wrong, weddings are okay...it's just some parts of it that I don't like. I don't like all the special "singing", I hate wearing a suit, and I hate receptions.

It's amazing watching two people get married. Heck, I want to get married one day, but to me, one of the most boring parts is the reception.

People sit at tables for hours on end sometimes with people they don't even know talking about unimportant things while annoying music blares across a portable dance floor.

I sat at a table with one person that I actually really do hate. My sister was there too. (I don't mind her.) Two other people that I haven't seen since I was eight. (I found out that I haven't been missing out on much) And two other people that I really define as...well...let's just say that these guys are what give the rest of us guys a bad rep. (That's as nice as I can put it.)

I was at this place from 6:30 until 11 at night. I hated it. I hate dancing. I have the dancing prowess which is the equivalent of a drunk giraffe. I can't stand it. My friend (The bride's brother) kept telling me to ask one of the bridesmaids to dance. There's only one problem with them. I can't stand any of them. I knew all of them, and all of them were more self absorbed than a super-squeegee. I tried to talk to all of them, just to say "hello". That's when I was reminded that I'm not wrong. They really ARE NOT worth talking to.

So, needless to say, I don't enjoy receptions. Granted, one day I'm going to have to be a Best Man and have to attend another one, and granted, when I get married my fiancee is going to want one, and I'll give her the reception of her dreams just to make her happy, but for the record, when it comes to receptions, I'd rather be windsurfing with John Kerry.

Really, I would.

posted by Jeremiah @ 19:12